U Gotta Be Kiddin Me

My Grandma has been in the hospital now for over 2 weeks, my Uncle had a vacation planned and it happen to fall this week. My Grandma was insistant that he go. They went, but with how fast my Grandma is getting sick, my Mom made the decision to tell him to come home as soon as he could. He took one of those Orlando vacations so it wasn't like he was down the road, he was in Florida, had a layover in Atlanta, GA. So I couldn't imagine the thoughts running thru his head. I have not heard what time he actually got home last night. I am just glad he's home safe and sound. And with my Grandma!!

It all started back when my Grandma first got Lung Cancer. She struggled but managed and beat the dragon. She got better, spent some wonderful moments with my Mom going out for lunches and just enjoying that time with her. I didn't get the opportunity because my Grandma is a very strong, vibrate, full of life and very, very independent. Which in turn, she has alot of pride. She doesn't want anyone feeling sorry for her, she doesn't want anyone crying for her, because that is MY Grandma. Things were going good, when she hit another bump in the road, this time it was bladder cancer. Again, she beat that dragon into the ground and was even stronger coming out because she knew the ropes. Just like before, I didn't get to spend any time with her because of her pride. I have to respect that, but when she would call for me...I was there. I never hesitated. I never second guessed. This third time she encountered the evil Dragon itself, it reeled her in to the point that we know her time is short. She was lucky the first two times. But I think its her time to go be with Grandpa. We cannot be selfish, we cannot hope that she gets better because we know the day will come again when she gets sick again and we will have to live with this all over again. The last 24 hours have been the hardest of my life. I sent my Mom a text message..."I hate God!" I was so mad because he was putting her thru all this pain, she doesn't deserve it. She's my Grandma! I've cried...because She's my Grandma! But I have to stop crying, stand up straight cause every time I start to tear up...I hear her voice in my head...."CHRISTINA MARIE!!!!!!!" Because that's how my Grandma would get my attention and I would stop and listen. I have so many wonderful memories I would like to share. Like the Sundays we would go over for dinner for her fried chicken wings, or her spaghetti. Or go over to watch scary movies. Or even the time she got cable for the first time when it very first came out and we watched MTV Moon Man on the BIG tv screen. I think one of my favorite memories is of her skinny dipping in the back yard in the pool my Mom put up. But one that will sit with me forever is when we went to Wisconsin Dells, WI. That was the best week of my life. I learned so much about my Grandma, of how STRONG she really is. She is my Mom's Rock. And I can see why she was such a wonderful Grandma. She is currently in the hospital, they gave her two weeks yesterday if that. I got to spend a couple hours alone with my Grandma. No talking, just sitting with her and holding her hand. Was enough for me. I don't want to say Goodbye, but I will see you later! I am heading up there in a few minutes. But wanted to post. I'm dealing with alot right now and I feel really bad, as I volunteered my time for the Boobiethon that started today. I will be able to do it later on, but right now. My Mom needs me.