This is a blog about me, my life and my family!

Lately, I've been just sitting here thinking about what needs to get done, like the carpets, going thru junk again and getting more organized. I am simply tired of my house always looking so cluttered. I would love for it to look nice. So today, I started in the corner of my living room, scrubbed the carpets by hand, then shampooed all around the walls. Shampooed by the front door, washed the walls down and move the loveseat. I am seriously thinking about moving the fish tank over to the other corner because I know Christmas is coming and I like the tree in the one corner. I really hate this blue chair that sits here in the living room. Well it seems it didn't post what I had written....Just great, I poured my heart out. And its GONE. I guess my Grandma didn't want me to post it.

I just noticed that there was a Dust storm out West. And that it spread into Arizona, that is like really cool but yet scary for the people out there. I know with our move here coming soon, we will get to experience that someday. I will have to say, it will be better than the darn tornadoes and violent weather that we have here. Especially the floods, they are bad. I really dislike the weather here.

My Mom has been using that E Cig, because she is trying her hardest to quit smoking. After losing my Grandma to cancer, I told my Mom she really needs to begin the healing process. I know that we all will die of something, someday no sense in pushing the issue right? I don't know who makes the E Cig, not sure if its the Drew Estate or what, but it is a good idea. It smells funny too. But you can add different scents to your E Cigs, its really neat.

I have to argue with that right now. Its cold in my house. I have some errands that I need to run, we have a birthday party today after school for my Son's Grandma. We are going to be late because he's still in school at the time it starts so, they will have to deal with that or plan better. I know she will be glad to see him.

My Son is beginning this thing now, that when he eats and has bathroom issues, that he is starving again. He did it last night, but it was really funny as it happened right before bedtime...he totally cracks me up.

After talking with my Son's Doctor about our move next year. I am stressed that the medicine is going to be hard for him to get. Everything takes about 30 days to go thru. Well my Son's medicine has to be refilled every 30 days and I have to physically go in and pick that medicine up. So hopefully after his December visit, we can get him a medicine that will help him transition during the move. With proper adhd treatment my Son will eventually be off medicine. I hate the fact that he's on meds, but lets hope that it changes here in the next couple of months.

I still have my moments where I am constantly thinking about my Grandma....I guess in my mind I thought she would live forever. I always thought she was this tough and strong woman. I guessed wrong. It hurts me still to even think about her passing and how much pain she went thru. No one knows. Sorry, I watched her suffer and there wasn't anything I could do help relieve her pain. I held her hand at one point, and told her if I could take her pain away I would....she squeezed my hand so I know she heard me. I just keep wondering how long I am going to feel so lost without her?

I was just on a celebrity website, and noticed how a certain celebrity, not gonna mention his name was driving thru traffic when the light must of changed to red. And he thought he could just sneak thru, well that didn't happen and his bike fell. Hope he doesn't need to call San Jose motorcycle accident attorney or anything. It wasn't anyone's fault but his own. I could never do that, just sneak thru traffic like that. I guess I am just a safe driver.

I didn't let myself get sick during the time my Grandma was in the hospital, even though I was exposed to quite a bit of stuff even stuff that we had no clue. And all the nurses had to suit up and put gloves on each time. Really made no sense to us. Still makes us wonder. But anyway, I am sick with a cold and right now my house is screaming my name to clean it. It desperately needs a good clean job. But I think I am going to stick to ONE room at a time.

And I wanted to share my moments, my anger and my precious time I spent with my Grandma, but I did not want to depress anyone right now. Needless to say, it was a precious time and I would not change a single moment of it. I got to do things for my Grandma, that I haven't gotten to do in years. Do you know that she wore the same fingernail polish that I put on her the day before she went into the hospital, she still had it on at the visitation and her funeral? I thought for sure they would take it off but they didn't. I know a part of me went with her. I also put on her friendship bracelet that my little cousin made for her. I found it ironic the oldest Granddaughter (myself) put on that bracelet from the youngest Granddaughter. I told my Grandma, that it was closest to her heart. She was so happy to see my little cousin. I truly miss my Grandma more than anything, and everyday I find something that I should of done or something I forgot to do for her. And I am beating myself up for NOT doing them. How sad is that? I wish things were different, and that I could have spent more time with her. But with her being on chemo and her immune system being really low, my Mom was very overprotective of her and our visits were limited. But also very understandable. So now, I have to live with this and only make my life better and be more positive.