U Gotta Be Kiddin Me

We obviously did stuff that kept up occupied to the point of, I wake up..go to sleep..wake up and bam my Son is home already. Even though when he arrived home it was almost 6pm. I did manage to make some Buttermilk Brownies only because its been since Sept. since I made them...lol. I try not to eat too much of that rich chocolate stuff but it was calling my name. You know, today has been a good day though. My BF and I went for a walk down by the river and were talking about moving..again. I want to get out of this house, and with my Son's Father moving to Arizona its really bugging me. Not that I want to follow him out there. But for the fact of my Son, I don't want him to be far from his Father. We have in the past talked about moving to AZ anyways or New Mexico but leaning towards AZ now. I am really nervous about this because it is a serious big step. Granted I would love to get out of this area and find something more for us....maybe its time that we take that step to find something more for us. But it means leaving all my friends. That's something I don't want to do. And even more leaving my family. I think leaving my Mom would be the hardest for me. It really would. She means the world to me and who would be there to help her calm down? To get her to relax? And my Daddy? Omg...its too hard of a decision to make. My Brother? My Sisters? Not to mention my nieces and nephews is only seeing them every so often makes it even harder to do. Because I love them so very much!!!!!!! So see, its a no win situation...do I make the choice and be selfish, stay here be with my family. Or make the move, so my Son has access to his Dad at any given time, whereas he wouldn't have that choice if we stay here. I don't want my Son to grow up without his Dad around, even though he would be there for school breaks and summer time. I don't want him to change the routine he's had forever since he was about 3 years old. I am tired of the cold weather, flooding, and super HOT summers. I know out there is totally different weather. I am going to do some research on it, check out the weather, schools, and of course employment. So for now, its still the thought process...its going to take me a little bit to figure out and to make some phone calls. And talk with some people, because this isn't something you take lightly.