I hate being emotional.
Truly, seriously...this time of the month isn't exactly the best times. I get really emotional. I start to think about things and I really dislike the things I think about.
Watching the news, a local gentleman is fighting stomach cancer and he has decided to leave a legacy for his future grandkids and his daughters. I sat there and just started crying. For the life of me...why? I thought about, What If? What If my Grandpa had left a living legacy, something to remember him by. What if he left us a part of him to see how Great he was, instead of just hearing it. What if he could of left us Grandkids a message, just to see and hear his voice.
Life isn't fair, life gives us these tests in life to see how strong we really are. Losing my Grandpa at such a young age, left me with alot of questions. Why was it fair to lose him? Why did God have to take him away from us? Is there really a God? Are we being punished? Did I do something wrong to deserve this?
These are questions I dealt with after he passed. And watching the news tonight, really brought back the tears. Gosh, I hate being so flippin' emotional....
I will leave you a legacey .. remember me Im your mother..
love you
Mom
I have pondered these questions myself. When I had two miscarriages back to back and then even more, when my mother was diagosed with a terminal cancer when I was 24. I had two small children that desperately needed (still need) their Grandmother, and I and my siblings (I am the oldest) needed our Mother. I questioned everything I believed in. You know what? I think God appreciates our honesty, and He’s a big guy – he can take our raw emotion. After the anger, the grief, the whole gamet of emotions that comes.. I came back to the fact that God never promised us that He would rescue us from bad things. Instead, He promised us that during those times, He would hold us. And He gave us the promise of heaven. I have to rest in those promises. I can attest first hand on the holding thing… at my lowest point, I felt Him.
Carrie’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen